Neon belongs to what you may call the silver of the rainbow. When he was a kid it was illegal to be gay in his country. It is no longer so, but Europe and the rest of the world still have a long way to go concerning gay rights.
Neon wants to look ahead, he is looking at the silver lining. But he also thinks that young gays of today need to take a good look at the past. Both to understand that equal rights do not come ease, and the rights they have can easily disappear. They also need to understand that if we all stand together, things will get better.
What do you do when one of your best friends, a self-proclaimed knight of fidelity, tells you he has someone on the side?
How do you cope with the situation when the guy you’ve been chatting with for weeks, had a few dates with, and hooked up with a couple times; suddenly stands in front of you with his boyfriend – someone he’s been with for two years?
How about this one – how should you react when you discover that one of your best friends is the new lover of your ex’s new boyfriend, the ex you know is deadly jealous and hates infidelity?
Only in Hollywood? Try Homo-wood!
I’m not sure if it’s something wrong with the way I was raised, or some DNA-mistake, or maybe I just don’t have the pull – can someone explain to me what it is with gays and infidelity?
Even when my ex – yes, I too have a few of those – broke up with me by telling me it was all right if I cheated while on vacation, I just couldn’t do it…
While chatting with your friends, a pint in your hand, it sounds as if us gays are celebrating the World Cup in Fucking On The Side. I have friends who have friends they know have slept with their boyfriends, and they still choose to be friends with them.
Excuse me? Is there something I’ve misunderstood? If a friend of mine had hooked up with someone he knew was my boyfriend, then they’re not worth my time – neither the friend nor the boyfriend.
Oops. Maybe I should be more careful about what I’m saying in the open forum. Maybe I have a friend or two reading this who feels like I’m talking about them. Nah. I’m happily ignorant about any complications going on in my circle of close friends. And I’m happy about that.
A while ago I was with a guy, who was insanely jealous. I’d be out and have a bear or four with a friend, at the time you could smoke at the pubs and we all remember how your hair and skin would reek when you got home. Since I knew he hated the smell of smoke, I’d shower before I slid in behind him in bed.
Big mistake! After I’d fallen asleep, he would sneak to the bathroom and check my underwear laying on the bathroom floor – he was checking for proof of my infidelity! In a jealous rage he would “find proof” too. I’ll just repeat my grandmother here; you judge others as you judge yourself.
It was almost like fate that we had identical phones. A text message came through. And I, thinking it was my phone, picked it up. Another big mistake. It wasn’t my phone, and it certainly wasn’t a message meant for my eyes; “ Can’t wait to see you again, hold you tight, and make love to you…”
I chose to be blind and def to what was going on for a short while, but it didn’t take long before that relationship ended.
For anyone thinking I’m trying to paint myself as Mr Perfect, think again. I too can be insanely jealous, and it scares me to even imagine cheating on anyone. Cheating is, after all, incredibly easy.
Had Paul Rudd showed up at my local pub and bought me a pint, I would not exactly have declined. There wouldn’t have been any heavy protesting had he “bought” something more… I probably would have figured it’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.
Truth be told, there are a couple local guys I would not have thrown out of bed had they offered a night of hot passion. Thing is, I’ve yet to receive such an offer, so I’ve managed to stay faithful just fine.
There is that one time I met the most gorgeous guy. A real man’s man, charming, cool and sexy. We started talking, and before you know it we were walking hand in hand through the park.
Back at his place we ended up at the sofa. We enjoyed a couple drinks and each other. At the back of my mind there was an elusive thought as to why we didn’t move on to the bedroom. But stiff drinks and other stiff thing made sure the mind was focused on other things than seeing the rest of the apartment.
We’d moved things along a bit when I heard the clanging of keys in the hall, and someone opening up the front door. The scream that followed is hard to describe.
I was laying at the edge of the sofa with my back to the door, and saw nothing of what was going on in the room behind me. I just heard a woman run into the kitchen, pull out a drawer and finding what she was looking for.
That’s when I noticed why I hadn’t seen anything. The guy I’d come home with was holding me tightly, making it impossible to turn.
“Stay still, and for God’s sake, do not let her see your face!” he whispered before he jumped out of the sofa and screamed, “Put down the knife!”
The woman yelled, “You promised you wouldn’t do this any more!” before he managed to take the knife away from her. He ran crying into the bedroom while I ran out into the hall in only my underwear, trousers and shirt in hand.
Not the shirt
Another time I met a gorgeous guy at a club, the kind that has chest hair and has to pay his way. Not a twink, in other words, but damn what a man. His sad pickup line was, “You have a nice shirt”.
Ugh. I was pretty sober and was almost insulted by the incredibly bad pickup line. “It’s not the shirt you’re looking at”, I quipped back, “but if you’re man enough, you can get pretty much anything you want”.
A little surprised at my own boldness, and a little turned on by the fact that he didn’t bolt at my quip, it was a little difficult to drop the act. He took the bait. And he was man enough, all right. That night is firmly on my list of things I’ll never forget.
The problem is that after that final round somewhere around dawn, he told me he had to run because his boyfriend would be man he didn’t come home before going to work.
I’ve met both him and his boyfriend out on town, and his boyfriend is a sweet guy you don’t want to hurt. He still has no idea, and I try my best to avoid them both when I see them.
Not long ago I was standing to the side of a dance floor, watching cute guys strut their stuff when I felt a presence behind me. Turning around it was a huge guy, with a mean look in his eyes.
Giving him a careful smile, I kind of knew who he was, but I was unsure of what he wanted. He obviously had something he wanted to get off his chest.
To make a long and slightly nasty story short, I was told in no uncertain ways to back off his boyfriend. He knew we had chatted online, and he wanted that to stop.
Most people would think ‘fucking hell, how controlling and domineering does a guy have to be’? I agree. But the point of the story is that the guy I was chatting with online never told me he had a boyfriend to begin with. He had given me the impression that he was looking for one.
This time I had only chatted with the guy, and we’ve since all made up. But it just goes to prove how easy it is to cheat…
A friend of mine always says that sex without emotions isn’t cheating, it’s just something you do to spice up your life. Well, if that is your belief… Truthfully, I just don’t want to hook up with guys who feel nothing for me.
I still believe in ‘the one’. I’m kind of a romantic that way. One day I’ll find that man who gets me. Someone who I can trust and know will never cheat on me. But where is he?
Whether you’re surfing the web, chatting on social media, and all you’re meeting are the idiots, just remember one thing; as long as you’re online, there has to be at least one more decent guy out there somewhere.
PS decent guy, should you read this, please get in touch with me right away!