The things I read and see in the name of researching gay news for Mr Gay Europe often leave me with bigger eyes than I was born with. It’s a strange world I’m in. The thing that sparked this blog, is one I found in about gay men and penis sizes. That’s right.

I was reading something completely different when I saw this in their feed, which made me think of how I’ve now heard a few times how no one is as much of a size-queen as a gay man, or gay men are all size-queens or something to that effect. You know how they say curiousity killed the cat? Yeah, some days I wonder how many lives I have left.


The quote; “I have often seen gay relationships fail after three or four sex meetings. After this it seems everyone wants to put their hands in a new man’s underwear, wondering what new and big thing they will find there. Can this size worship be one reason gay romances are so fragile?”

My initial thought was; Is this true? Is the whole “size-queens” thing true?

I immediately started writing an email to a friend, wanting to ask him about this. If you’ve read my previous blog, you’ll know I’m not afraid to ask about things I don’t know about. Like I said, it’s a strange world I’m in. Then it hit me, why just ask one person? Why not ask more people? Or better yet, why not just research the subject? Obviously men are concerned about the size of their dick, and gays are concerned not only with their own size but their partner’s as well. So is every gay man really such a size-queen? Or is that more myth than truth? Is every man a size-queen? Gay, bi and straight?


Not every Jack, Dick and Harry is nine inches. If you are, good for you, but according to the people who do the actual research on these things, the “normal” size is two-thirds of that. Reading more of the article, this issue is about more than being a size-queen. It seems some men are so insecure about their own penis size they have real psychological issues. And that’s where shit gets real. So another question that pops into my mind is, with all this focus on size men seem to have (trust me, it’s more a male thing than a female thing), are they hurting themselves psychologically?

The sizing up each other’s penises starts early in locker rooms in school. And let’s be honest, kids can be cruel to each other. They tease each other over anything, so is it a stretch thinking they tease each other over the size of their penis? I can’t even imagine what it would be like being adolescent, gay, in the closet, caught looking at other boys’ penises. The teasing that would ensue would be brutal.


Is that where the so-called size-queen thing starts? In adolescence, or does that happen later? All jokes aside, this is a serious issue with some, maybe even more than we think. Size-queening and penis envy; are men ruining it for themselves? I mean, one type of joke I often hear is “he must have a tiny dick so he’s mean/awful/horrible/has a flashy car to make up for it”. There a lot of “tiny penis” jokes out there. And don’t even get me started on porn and how it does nothing to reflect reality in any way.

According to research flaccid average is 9 cm, while erect average is 13 cm, with a standard deviation while flaccid of 1.5 cm and 1 cm while erect. With this being the average standard, we’re still a bit away from the 9 inches (23 cm) many men seem to wish they had. Forget it boys, there is no safe way to get that penis to grow even a centimeter or two.

A survey, if the men were being truthful, showed that 66% of the men fell inside the average measurements, while 12% were smaller and 22% were larger. But regardless of their sizes, almost all men in the survey wanted to be bigger. Seems like men, no matter their size, are never happy with what they’ve got and always believe themselves to be under-endowed.

The same survey also showed that men of African descent average the same sizes as Caucasian men, while men of Asian descent average smaller (probably due to being of smaller body size on average). And there is no significant correlation between penis size and shoe size – so that’s one myth busted. There is however a significant correlation between flaccid penis length and body height.

When it comes to sexuality and sexual satisfaction, men are very concerned about their own penis size. The idea is that bigger is better. Men also associate penis size with male vigor, masculinity, potency and virility; a symbol of strength and power.


Another research shows that at puberty, boys with the smallest penis often gets ridiculed, while the one with the biggest penis is usually the dominant male of the group. This dominance causes the other boys to be envious of him, something that carries over into adulthood. And thus, penis envy is born. Men become size queens.

Men seem to worry that because they’re not freakishly huge, they cannot satisfy their partner. This lack of confidence translates to poorer handling of everyday stress, performance at work, and in the end can lead to cases of depression. This lack of confidence can then again lead to poorer performance in bed. When a man isn’t happy with his penis size, he finds it difficult to be satisfied in bed. And when he isn’t satisfied, it is that much more difficult to satisfy his partner. This really becomes a negative spiral. Doesn’t help that a lot of gay men seem to always be looking for something new and shiny – and bigger to boost their egos.

From my perspective, all jokes aside, being such a size queen isn’t good for the male mental health. And the porn industry isn’t doing anything to help men feel good about their penis size and themselves. Most porn stars seem to be freakishly huge, giving the “average” guy a real life complex.